My chat group members are all legendary criminals.

Chapter 1: The Smiling Corpse

"Do I look like an FBI agent or a local police officer to you?"

Lu Yiming, dressed in an auxiliary police uniform, squatted on the side of the street, teasing a black cat.

"You look like a community volunteer. $800 a month, no overtime pay, and you have to pay for union insurance out of your own pocket—you're a beast of burden."

A rough, hoarse voice came from behind.

Lu Yiming turned around, and the person who came was his patrol partner, Mike, a white veteran in his fifties.

"Becoming a full-fledged police officer isn't that easy, especially for an Asian like you."

"Get in the car quickly, another black guy died in the Fremont West slums late at night. This is the third one this week."

Lu Yiming dusted off his pants and silently got into the police car.

Having transmigrated to this parallel world of America for over twenty years, I have no system or cheat codes, and no beautiful women around me.

The only thing I can boast about is my excellent learning ability.

Using this advantage, he was admitted to the American Police Academy.

As a result, due to poor physical fitness and the lack of recognition for being of Asian descent, he failed the assignment assessment.

He could only be a police auxiliary officer earning minimum wage, not even a trainee officer.

He dreamed of becoming a police officer who punishes evil and upholds justice, but in reality, he does odd jobs every day, arrests people who buy things for free, and beats up mistresses.

"Mike, do you think I'll be among the candidates for permanent positions at the end of the year?"

"You're not getting a chance. There are white guys with more experience than you lining up all the way to the Mexican border. You'll have to wait your turn. Unless you can solve a few big cases and get a medal of honor."

"Then... can you do that if I bring two cases of milk?"

The two joked and laughed along the way, and soon arrived at Motel No. 9, where the incident occurred.

The lighting was dim and ambiguous, and the corridor was filled with unpleasant moans and groans.

The incident occurred in a waterbed-themed room on the second floor.

I swiped my card to enter, and the strong, cheap shower gel scent had a hint of pungent menthol.

On the waterbed, a black man in his thirties lay naked and curled up, his body stiff and lifeless.

Strangely, he stared wide-eyed, his mouth stretched wide, revealing half a tooth.

The smile was exaggerated and stiff, yet it conveyed a sense of pleasure.

A disheveled blonde woman huddled in the corner of the sofa, trembling all over. She was the one who reported the crime and also the deceased's lover.

"...At that time, we were...he suddenly clutched his chest, his whole body convulsed, his eyes widened, he struggled and then stopped breathing..."

A major case broke out in the city, and the bureau's forensic department and forensic doctors were all pulled away. Tonight, Mike and Lu Yiming, an auxiliary police officer, will be handling the case.

Old Mike was busy comforting the blonde woman with his arm around her.

Lu Yiming was forced to put on gloves and, enduring the discomfort, squatted down to carefully examine the corpse.

Dilated pupils, cyanotic lips, and fingers tightly gripping the sheets are signs of sudden cardiac death due to a heart attack.

"Tsk tsk, another one getting too high. Can't you young people control yourselves a little?"

Mike yawned, picked up the half-smoked pack of slim cigarettes from the coffee table, and casually stuffed it into his pocket.

"Hey, what's the big deal? Just take a quick picture. Nobody cares if this kind of person dies anyway. Hurry up and finish this so you can go home."

"Mike, something feels off..."

Lu Yiming frowned: "I saw in the bureau's report that the first two victims also died while on official business, and like him, they both had smiles on their faces."

"I remember forensic medicine saying that sudden cardiac death is very painful, so how can you be laughing so heartily?"

"This is very likely not an accident, it's murder."

Mike didn't seem to care, bent down and picked up an empty medicine box from the trash can, shaking off the cigarette ash.

"Hey, you're overthinking it. Look at this, Viagra. You've never used one before, have you?"

Although Lu Yiming was inexperienced in such matters, he knew about this thing.

It also has a more widely known name in the country – Viagra.

"Taking Viagra before engaging in sexual activity does indeed carry a risk of heart attack. But three consecutive cases of the same thing are too much of a coincidence."

Old Mike glared at him, picked up the deceased's clothes, and stuffed a few banknotes into his pocket.

"Hey, what's so strange about that? These bastards just love to try new things."

"Isn't it just dying with a smile? Don't you Chinese say that dying under a peony flower is a romantic death?"

"What? You really want to catch a big case? Stop daydreaming, quickly send the information to the group and notify the family to come over."

"Don't waste taxpayers' money."

Lu Yiming shook his head. Trying to reason with a racist who's just coasting along is like casting pearls before swine.

Helpless, he absentmindedly took out his phone while listening to old Mike humming a tune.

Because the profile pictures were so similar, his finger swiped and, instead of sending the message to the Fremont Police Department duty group, inexplicably clicked into a group he had just been added to.

[Legendary Criminals Chat Group]

Outlaw Zhang San: Hey, a new guy in the group? Are you a guy or a girl?

Che Guevara: New guy, what did you do to get here? Stealing electric bikes?

Lu Yiming was focused on filtering photos at the moment and didn't even look at the group name. He casually packaged and sent out dozens of high-definition photos of the scene.

The group chat instantly became lively.

Food critic Hannibal: Interesting. Are you trying to make us guess your methods of murder?

Jack the Ripper: @Lu Yiming Newcomer, don't learn from that lousy cook! When you kill someone, you should do it quickly and cut their stomach open!

Food critic Hannibal: @Jack the Ripper At least I didn't dismember people to cover up my clumsy methods.

Educator Jigsaw: @Lu Yiming, the delayed death design is good, but you've deprived him of his chance for redemption. Next time I'll teach you how to make games.

Chemist Lao Bai: @VerticalSaw, your low-level torture is worthy of being compared to this precise drug-induced delayed death? Ridiculous.

Professor Moriarty: @Lu Yiming, you dared to return to the scene to appreciate the artwork after committing the crime. You have good courage. I admire you.

……

Che Guevara: Huh? Murder... The most I've ever stolen in my life is a battery...

Outlaw Zhang San: Holy crap! Even the admins have come out? Who is this newbie?

Lu Yiming stared at his phone screen, stunned for two seconds.

???

What's going on? Is it appropriate for a group of police officers to cosplay as criminals?

"WTF? Why haven't you posted the picture in the group yet?"

Mike, who was busy comforting the blonde woman, yelled.

Lu Yiming suddenly jolted awake, staring intently at the group name—Legendary Criminals Chat Group?!

What kind of group is this? Legendary criminals? There are chat groups for this? When did I join?

Hannibal Lecter from *The Silence of the Lambs*, Jigsaw from *Saw*, Moriarty from *Sherlock Holmes*, Walter White from *Breaking Bad*; and the infamous Jack the Ripper from the 19th century… the Zodiac Killer, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre…

As I swiped through the group member list, I saw top-tier criminals spanning movies, novels, and real life.

There were more than two hundred people.

Uh, Che Guevara and Zhang San? What makes you two think you're in the same group as these people?

Is this group just playing role-playing games, or is it actually a gathering of demons?

Did they still mistake me for a new "colleague"?

I'm sorry, I'm a police officer.

Auxiliary police officers are also police officers.

But they just said it was a murder...

If this group is real, then the situation is serious.

These are all top-tier criminals; no one understands crime better than them.

Could it be that the deceased's apparent death from a heart attack was not an accident, but murder?

Wait! Did I send the event materials to the wrong group?!

Lu Yiming frantically tried to retract the message...

Then, a new message popped up on the screen, from chemist Lao Bai, whose profile picture was a beaker.

Chemist Old White: I've figured out your method of murder, kid. You're still a long way off...